Katekyo Hitman Reborn: Life wTsuna&Friends
by Sola-Hime
Summary: This has to be hilarious, the story goes on into this spiral of random. Tsuna? Pregnant? Hibari did what to him? Dino...Wow. Kohori & Akuma? Dino has a child? And who the hell is gay nurse? ROFL! Martha steward..? Christianity Dino ?


Dumb and Dumber Dumb and Dumber

_Disclaimer: Katekyo Reborn is not own by meh thank you_

_Claimer: I do own Kohori and Akuma :3_

"_Omfg guess what Akuma," said the overly happy Kohori with a huge smile on her face. "What now kohori...im reading yaoi make it quick" said Akuma with an irritaded look on her face keeping eyes to the book not really caring what Kohori was about to say. "You know Dino the hot hot hot hot hotness well I saw him today!!."_

"_Argh...ok then" Akuma said with an even more irritated look as her friend squealed at the thought of "Dino is so hot man I think im in love" Kohori dramatically swooned into akuma's lap "yea uhhuh get the fuck off me Kohori" "Man don't be mean im just saying." Kohori pouted looking at Akuma with a childish chibi like face. "Say it somewhere else ok im reading stupid otaku girl." _

_Akuma kicked Kohori to the floor standing up walking on her body staying glued to the yaoi in hand. "Awwww.. Akuma!!" kohori stood up chasing after Akuma clinging to her arm tightly. The two began to walk out of the school. "So whats for lunch today Akuma?" Said Kohoru holding up a lunch pale that belonged to Akuma "well I don't what you're eating but im eating burgers today" she smiled at Kohori snatching it the pale out of her hands. "NOOOO!! Please Akuma I promise to buy you lunch when my parents come back from their trip and give me money." Kohori pleaded "bitch hell naw you been saying that since last year your parents aren't coming home they don't want you fool."_

"_Yes they do." Kohori cried and laid on the floor kicking and screaming like a child 'bitch get up your embarrassing me" Akuma kicked Kohori in the stomach making her flinch "Gemme a burger!" kohori tackled Akuma taking the pale running away quickly._

"_Whore!" Akuma screamed chasing Kohori all the ways down the street. Kohori turned the corner bumping into another person. "Ow!" kohori hit the ground. "Kohori get your fatass over here" Akuma screamed running around the corner. "Im sorry I didn't..." Kohori said looking up at the man "its ok" he said with smile. "Whoa, uhhh..." Kohori for once in her life speechless. "Im so sorry, ill buy you dinner, Kohori" Akuma grabbed Kohori pulling her aside from the male. _

"_Wait... who?" Kohori asked in shock. 'You! Stupid" Akuma spurted rolling her eyes some. The male smiled " Yes, you Kohori" kohori squealed in delight "wait you mean me right Kohori... the girl right here me right?" she questioned with stupidity "you better say yes before your ass gets on his nerves with all the dumb questions. I mean who else would have such a crackish name" Akuma smirked. Kohori pouted thinking about what Akuma said. "Hey!! Im am not a whore," she rudely pointed to Akuma almost getting her finger bite off._

"_Well anyways Kohori would love to go out with you Dino, well since that's done im off C'ya later Kohori don't call me" Akuma walked off continuing to her Yaoi manga._

_Kohori stood in shock looking at the male Dino in all his glory "oh em gee..." she stood looking at him. As he gave her a smiles making her heart stop. " You Really mean me right?" she looked around for any kohoris that managed to come by._

_He spoke. " Of course I mean if you want kohori" he looked at her with curiosity and a smile. " I would love to" kohori said clinging to dino. He smiled hugging her in his arms. " So where to?" Dino stated looking around._

"_Uhh... one of the best restaurant in town" she began to drag Dino in the direction of "McDonalds" He smiles holding her hand now following her lead. Kohori saw this as the perfect moment and best day f her life. Soon after she hit the ground being pulled by Dino. "Owwie!" she hit the ground face down crying abit as she picked herself up looking at Dino. "What the hell Dino you ok?" she asks with a slight twitch, feeling something was off. "Yea, sorry... stupid ground" he said in a whiney tone. Kohori looked on the ground seeing no cracks or bumps that he was able to trip on. "Ok... then lets go!" she pulled up Dino with all her strength now pulling to him the restaurant._

_She and him talked... ok he talked she stared and ate 4 burgers As he smiled at her and continued on about his life in the "work, trade, and protection bussiness"As she nodded not understanding what the hell he was saying but she love every minute of it. When they were done Kohori decided to take Dino to a near by park._

"_So Dino why would a guy like yourself ask a girl life me out?" she questioned hoping for an "im in love with you kohori" to happen "Well your cute and I was like what the hell ima ask so I did. And well ive seen you around like shops and stuff." he smiled not knowing she was stalking him. "Uh yea oh and I see you at my friend Tsuna's house" as she thought "my little brother Tsunayoshi" he smiled as he stood up tripping bitch slapping her as he hit the ground. She grabbed her face in pain wincing abit. "Holy crap Dino what the fuck man!" _

_Dino got up feeling abit woozy looking up at kohori as his nose began to bleed. "Fuck!" he murmured. "Whoa Dino you need a tissue?" she began to go into her school bag finding random crap that wasn't going to help "that's where that went... " She looked at a fork she had thrown into her bag about 2 months ago. She shrugged it ff looking deeper. As Dino Crawled on her wiping his face on her White school blouse making it all bloody._

"_Omfg you know how hard blood is to get out of white" she began cry looking at her shirt. He smiled at her " ill buy you a new one" as he got up sitting next to her on the park bench. She continued to cry. Dino Scooted closer to her leaning into for a kiss, as she turned to face him busting each other into the face with their kiss connecting with force busting both their lips. _

_Kohori pulled away in pain having tears stream down her face holding her mouth with both hands. "im so sorry kohori" Dino reached for her face some how slapping her again. Making her hit the ground passing out. "Arghhh..." she moaned in pain from a booming headache._

_She opened her eyes coming to consciousness. Only to realize she was not home and she was remembering she was with Dino. "Omfg!" she screamed sitting up looking at the well-furbished room. "How'd you sleep kohori?" Dino lying next to her with only a pair of pants on. She nearly drooled over his body but retains somewhat composure. "It was horrible I could swore you smacked me half to death like 3 times whew..." she sighed thinking was it all a dream. He sat up laughing, "sorry about that and your clothes I had one of my men clean them but for now relax" he smiled. As she looked down realizing she was wearing his clothes._

"_Argh..." she felt weird realizing someone stripped her but then again it could've been Dino. She laughed in her head feeling like she was special. "Hungry?" he offered her a sandwhich. She quickly grabbed it chowing it down. He watched with a smile knowing from earlier how she can eat. "Where's your bath room?" "Oh down the hall to the right."_

She quickly scurried out the room. She looked around seeing how big the house was and how far down the hall was. "Man this is as big as the track at school" she began to walk at a quicker pass looking at everything around. She heard men talking as she looked in a room with a door half open. 'Dino wont know what hit him bam he's gone ok boys" the biggest man in the room stated "But boss if that happens all of the other men will get our asses in no time there has been rumor about spies in the house and well were the prime suspects on that trip" the smaller whinier man spoke. "Well then don't let anyone know stupid use your brain for once" the large man spoke again making the other men in the room flinch in fear. Kohori backed up in shock almost pissing herself as she squeaked running toward Dino's room. "What was that noise" as one man came out the room seeing Kohori "Hey you get your ass back here" as he began to chase her. "DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN" she realized this was the mafia and they were going to kill the love of her life. As she ran down the hall that seemed endless with giant men chasing her she ran into Dino's room.

"_whoa whats wrong Kohori dear?" she wanted to so obbssess over the fact he called her dear but then again no... "dino we gotta go like huge men were likes chasing me and and and and there goona kill you" she panted out of breath holding the door looking up at Dino. He sat upputting his shirt on grabbing something that looked as if it was a whip and a pet that was sitting in a tank with no water. "Dino what the fuck?" kohoro said with a shocked look on her face. "Well there has been rumor of spies and assasins in the house so im trying to see who im up against, now Kohori stay-," dino was cut off by someone busting in the door as Kohori hit the ground. it was the large boss from before._

"_fuck that hurt." Kohori stated lazily getting off the ground. "Kohori stand back." Dino stated unwrapping his whip snapping cooly. Kohori swood over the cool actions of Dino as she moved and Toward Dino he smiled at her. "ok now, what do you want from me?" he glanced over at the biggest man in the group. "We've come to disspose of you of course Dino whatselse what have we come for." the taller nam smirked at Dino with anger and hatred. "ok..." Dino stated looking at the man calmly smirking at him in his normal happy attitude seemingly unphazed by the mans size and structure._

"_WOO!! go Dino kick his ass!!" kohori shouted and from behind Dino. "Will do dear." he snapped his whip as it snapped backwards hitting Kohori in the face. "oh mi gawd!!" Kohori grabbed her face as a long red Mark went along her face. "IM SORRY!!" Dino quickly went to Kohori's side rubbiing her back gently looking worried. The men laughed._

"_Oh so now the Great Dino is now a pedo and an abuser tsk tsk... well men lets teach him a lesson." the other men readied themselves all looking over at Dino Viciously.As another man pulled out bombs and Guns. "Whoa, dude thats over kill" one man stated taking out a Machine gun. "oh mi gawd... my face" kohori whined looking up at the men with the huge guns and scary face. "Oh mi gawd ima die!!" She clung to Dino as he soon readied his whip once again. Kohori backed away from him afraid instead of hitting the enemy she might get a taste of whip in her mouth once again.Dino soon charged the men as one from the back pulled a grenade out. The other men cried out telling him no as the man pulled the cord and held it in his hand. "throw it stup-..." the man was cut off as the whole room expolded as a wild fire began to light the room and its outsides. "Kohori!!" Dino screamed looking through the fire. "boss..." Romero calmly stated holding Kohori in his hands._

"_oh thank god..." Dino sighed abit looking at Kohori passed out if not dead. "Take her home back to Japan she has school tomorrow." he smiled at Romero. "Btu sir shes injured she should go to the hospital in Japan if nothing else" his loyal right hand man stated. "Gawd Romero give a guy a break im thinking of her deubacation here" Dino stated stupidly. "uhhh... sure... but her health is more important at the moment sir" Romero twitched abit. "fine off then take her to the hospital back in her home then see ya im off" he grabbed his coat hopping into his red sports car. "Sir shouldnt you ucompany her i mean it is your fault i mean most if her injuries are do to your... whip.." Romero wanted laugh but held it in from being respectful to Dino._

"_Naw its cool... bye" Dino droved off in a random direction._

_Romero Sighed abit looking around for some other men to help him with kohori._

_They soon arrived at the hospital dropping off Kohori then leaving her there._

_The next 2 weeks_

"_Man!! im hungry..." Kohori cried sitting there as Akuma was reading her manga. "shut it stupid you just had 3 burgers that you werent even suppose to eat." Akuma looked up irritadedly at Kohori. "Sowwy ima growing girl i need my food and protien" she flexed her none existent muscles. "well bye kohori ill talk to you when ever dude" Akuma got up leaving the room before Kohori could protest.Soon after a loud commotion happened when someone else joined the room with her. A moddy looking boy with silver-gray hair with a frown on his briused face. "Hayato?" Kohori looked over at the male she called hayato. "what the f... You... why are you here?" he muttered under it breath. "Hi buddeh i would hugg you but im temperarly paralized" she smiled at him like none of the words from his mouth meant hatred toward her. "yea what ever Kohori just dont bother me to much im in a bad mood i dont need a twot bothering me go it..." he sighed abit._

_Someone busted in the room holding 2 trays of food quickly going over to Hayato "hey baby you hungry?"a male quickly giving him his food and a wink "what the fuck dont wink at me..." Hayato shivered in discomft. "aww so cute baby i dont bite much im gaynurse yup read the name tag im single looking for hotties with bodies you know." the Gaynurse stated looking at Gokudera and and down. Then he would look over at kohori walking to her giving her the food. "look here hunny the hottie over there is mine i call Dibbs so dont get any idea." the nurse snapped his fingers looking Kohori as he placed his hands on his hips puting his lips abit._

"_ewww you dont call anything on me got it asshole." Gokudera started to eat quickly finishing his food. "damn baby got an attitude meh likey ooohhh and an appitite maybe when you out of here we can have dinner at my place." the nurse sat on Gokudera's bed watching him eat. _

"_eww get off my bed" Gokudera started to kick Gaynurse in the leg "ooh baybay dont be mean im just liking what i see" gay nurse looked at Gokudera with lust._

"_get off my damn bed fag and get me more pudding... now..." Gokudera seemed to enjoy this as his frown became a smirk. The gay nurse quickly got up and walked to the side of kohori and grabbed her pudding taking it to Gokudera. "hey!! mine!!" Korhori Frowned with a small tear streaming down her face. "stfu bobo" Gaynurse stated in text talk staring at hayato eat the pudding as he sat back down in his bed "what fuck man get off my damn bed you fagget shit..." Gokudera was now irritated at Gaynurse._

"_ok ok damn baby i hope you this angry in bed" Gaynurse smiled widly at the thought._

"_ewwww... the Hayato thing i dont mind but ewww gaynurse no!" Kohori twitched at the thought. As Gokudera looked irritated that he had two idiots in the room he had to stay in for the next 2 or so months. "shit can i get a room change?" Gokudera came to a conclusion someone either had to die or he had t change his room but he was hping he got to kill someone._

"_uhhuhh baby all the hospital is packed sorry but ill make it so you can be nice in comfy in my presence yupyup sexy..." Gaynurse took out a card with his cell, Home, and work numbers on it. "what the fuck i dont want you near me fag!!" Gokudera slapped gaynurses hand way. "damn dont be acting like that you want me its just you havent realized it yet..." Gaynurse grinned walking out of the room in a quick sway. "bye baby ill ttyl i g2g kk ily bye." he said in text talk walking out the room. "my pudding..." kohori cried still looking out the window all melodramatic. Gokudera through an empty pudding cup at her. "shut the fuck up im going to sleep" he lied down turning on to his side quickly falling asleep. "g'night ill do the same i just hope that gaynurse dude dont come back he scares me." soon kohori fell asleep.Ending the day for her and the wierdness... _

_My first Reborn fanfiction WOO!!_

_inspired by meh friends and crack..._

_and i was forced to do this by meh bff Imani_

_:P next chapter is as stupid as this but oh well review review review!! _

_i dont except flames except from Imani XD_


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